You start out calmly enough. You've made a list, you have the image in your mind--how terrific you're going to look. Then it begins. You take out the three pieces of clothing. And then the shoes. Which shoes? These don't match the top. And they don't match your bottom. They're the wrong black. How can there be so many blacks? Change the bottom. Change the top. Change the shoes. Before you know it, you've lost track of where you were in your wardrobe. Wait a minute. Have you been dressing from the Goodwill pile? Or the 'when I lose those five pounds' pile?

You don't know what you were thinking when you accepted the invitation, anyway. Now you can't even leave the house. How do you gain weight in your ankles? You're going to miss your train, but you have to stay home to clean up this mess anyway. And then you have to go shopping...

There's a faint voice from under the vanity, where she lives when you're not dressing...'shopping?' Sadie emerges--to help. She stretches out on the loveseat, and begins to counsel. "Angora? Again? Not fat, just fluffy. It makes you look fluffy. Besides, you know it sheds. Let me put that away for later." She curls up on the angora. She calls it safeguarding. "Are those little mirrors on your shoes? People will look up your skirt! Remember those plain pumps?"

Sadie helps you pick and choose, but is she picking what's right for you, or what's not right for her? "Pearls are always sweet, but you never know what might happen." You're not sure if she's on your side, but who else would go through this with you?

You have to trust her, and go with the faux. She says it so nicely. She puts you back together. Of course by this time, you're in such a state... really. Taking fashion advice from a mauve monster. Again.

On your way out the door, you notice that Sadie's wearing all your rings, and that those are your pearls hanging out of her mouth. Off to the ball.

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